Dual Distracted Driving? A Real Close Shave!

04/01/2010 -- In what has to be the "case of all cases" of distracted driving, My Fox Orlando News has reported that a 37 year old Florida woman, named Megan Mariah Barnes, crashed her vehicle on Cudjoe Key, Florida, back on March 2d, because she became distracted in the course of shaving her, uhhhhhhhh . . . bikini line while she was behind the wheel!

The story is a few weeks old, but well worth repeating. The original story was posted by Adam Linhardt, a staff reporter for the Key West Citizen here at KeysNews.com.

Megan, a partial bleach-blond (check the roots in the accompanying Fox photo) had her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding in the passenger seat, take a hold of the wheel while she was performing the depilation on her crotch.

Seems the 37 year-old lady was on the way to meet her latest beau . . . and was apparently feeling just a bit too hirsute. She wanted to look her best!

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it.'

What do you think the chances are that the ex-hubby became just a wee bit distracted himself and possibly "snuck a peak or two" during the process? The facts, as you will see, seem to speak for themselves!

As you might have guessed, she should not have been driving in the first place, nor should her vehicle, a 1995 Thunderbird, have even been on the road, as she had just had her license revoked for 5 years for a DUI one day prior to the crash!

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.

Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.

Seems that Schoff's vehicle had slowed down in the right lane to about 5 mph, in order to take a right-hand turn. The Thunderbird slammed into the back of it while traveling at about 45 mph, which, as noted by the police, was within the speed limit.

Following the crash, Megan immediately fled the scene. Her hapless ex-husband Charlie slid over behind the steering wheel while she hopped in the back seat, when they stopped about a half mile down the road. The only problem was that only one air bag in the T-Bird had deployed during the crash -- the one on the passenger side.

So when the investigating officer, Florida Highway Trooper Gary Dunick, noticed that it was Charles Judy and not Megan Barnes who had incurred burns from the air-bag deployment on the passenger seat side, Dunick quickly put two and two together.

Their initial cover story collapsed.

Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel did not deploy, he said.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

So, here would be my best guess. Megan had put the T-Bird on cruise control and in the right lane, while she was getting ready to wield the razor. Poor ex-hubby Charlie had probably been enlisted in the first place in order to take the car back after dropping her off for the rendezvous with new guy, and she ordered him to take the wheel while she was pulling down her shorts to perform the last-second pare.

During that delicate operation, however, poor Charlie probably couldn't resist wistfully taking a peek. Perhaps, just perhaps, he didn't notice the Chevy pickup up ahead -- the one that was slowing down to take the right turn -- until it was too late.

Or, perhaps he did but just couldn't get her attention in time. Either way, she had the brake under her foot.

Bam! Yikes!

Everyone ended up a loser in this one. Charlie got burned, boyfriend got stood up, Megan got a close shave and likely jail time, David Schoff got his truck bashed in, and his innocent passengers got injured.

All in that one little moment of not paying attention.